http://www.pdxpipeline.com/2008/10/04/halloween-in-portland-scream-at-the-beach-zombie-apocalypse/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:18:40 -0800 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.pdxpipeline.com/2008/10/04/halloween-in-portland-scream-at-the-beach-zombie-apocalypse/#comment-936 Alexz Sat, 01 Nov 2008 09:07:05 +0000 http://pdxpipeline.wordpress.com/?p=2313#comment-936 This place was such a sham. Searching the internet for an event to save me from complete boredom on Halloween, I came across “Scream at the Beach.” As a poor college student, my options are limited. I thought my prayers had been answered upon seeing this site. How much better can it get, right? I mean, five -FIVE!- haunted houses and a ‘haunted carousel,’ all for 20 dollars! I thought it was too good to be true…low and behold I was right. The ‘haunted houses,’ as they are claimed to be, were empty stores with some cardboard walls and NOTHING in the rooms. A full room might have had a table, one strobe light, and a blatantly-obvious stereo playing sound effects. I stood in line for 15 minutes to walk through uninspiring passageways that took about a minute and 30 seconds to get through. The ‘monsters’ running throughout the houses were teenagers with runny mascara and sloppy face-paint; some were even wearing just t-shirts and jeans. Way to go all out guys. Don’t even get me started on their scare tactics… saying “aaahhh” really doesn’t get my blood rushing. I know most Halloween creatures are supposed to look dead, but that crew was absolutely lifeless in the worst kind of way. The houses were lackluster to say the least and the band was a tribute to Jimmy Buffet…Jimmy Buffet?! On Halloween?! Jimmy Buffet IS scary, but not in the way meant for Halloween. The price was cheap, but the attractions were cheaper. The ‘haunted carousel’ was a normal carousel with some shameful cardboard ghosts from the local Wal-Mart hung around the top. I felt like the butt of some cosmic joke. All in all, this place was an enormous disappointment and the website was completely misleading. My problem is not with the attraction itself; my problem is with the fact that the website makes this place sound like the scariest, most amazing Halloween site in the nation. The only scary parts of this whole place were the carnies at the carnival- and I don’t think they were part of the act. This place was such a sham. Searching the internet for an event to save me from complete boredom on Halloween, I came across “Scream at the Beach.” As a poor college student, my options are limited. I thought my prayers had been answered upon seeing this site. How much better can it get, right? I mean, five -FIVE!- haunted houses and a ‘haunted carousel,’ all for 20 dollars! I thought it was too good to be true…low and behold I was right. The ‘haunted houses,’ as they are claimed to be, were empty stores with some cardboard walls and NOTHING in the rooms. A full room might have had a table, one strobe light, and a blatantly-obvious stereo playing sound effects. I stood in line for 15 minutes to walk through uninspiring passageways that took about a minute and 30 seconds to get through. The ‘monsters’ running throughout the houses were teenagers with runny mascara and sloppy face-paint; some were even wearing just t-shirts and jeans. Way to go all out guys. Don’t even get me started on their scare tactics… saying “aaahhh” really doesn’t get my blood rushing. I know most Halloween creatures are supposed to look dead, but that crew was absolutely lifeless in the worst kind of way. The houses were lackluster to say the least and the band was a tribute to Jimmy Buffet…Jimmy Buffet?! On Halloween?! Jimmy Buffet IS scary, but not in the way meant for Halloween. The price was cheap, but the attractions were cheaper. The ‘haunted carousel’ was a normal carousel with some shameful cardboard ghosts from the local Wal-Mart hung around the top. I felt like the butt of some cosmic joke. All in all, this place was an enormous disappointment and the website was completely misleading. My problem is not with the attraction itself; my problem is with the fact that the website makes this place sound like the scariest, most amazing Halloween site in the nation. The only scary parts of this whole place were the carnies at the carnival- and I don’t think they were part of the act.

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